2 Ways to Be More Intentional in Your Relationships: Abide and See
As a Christian, there’s a natural desire to please God. One way we do this is by obeying Him and cultivating meaningful relationships—first with Jesus, and then with others. Yet, life is full of distractions that can pull our focus away from the purpose of knowing God and making Him known.
So how can we refocus and make intentionality in our relationships a priority?
For me, I realized I hadn’t been intentional with relationships at my workplace leading up to my maternity leave. I was so buried in paperwork that I forgot my true priority: loving the people right in front of me. While on leave, I prayed for a change of heart. I wanted to return to work ready to do things differently.
As I sought God’s guidance, He gave me two clear messages: abide and see the people in front of you.
#1 Abide
In John 15, Jesus gives both a command and a promise to His followers:
“I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.” — John 15:5
The vine-and-branch analogy illustrates our complete dependence on Jesus to produce lasting spiritual fruit. Abiding may look like spending time with Him, trusting the Holy Spirit, praying according to God’s will, and studying Scripture.
When we abide, the promise Jesus made becomes real: we bear fruit—not through our own effort, but through Him.
Before this revelation, I had tried to make a list of ways to be intentional with my co-workers and students (I’m a teacher), and it often left me overwhelmed and anxious. God was reminding me: don’t rush. Wait on Him to lead you to acts of intentional love.
As you spend time with Jesus, His Spirit will flow through every area of your life. The result? A harvest for the Lord and joy that overflows because Christ is at work in you (John 15:11).
#2 See the Person in Front of You
Along with abiding, God called me to a second act of obedience: see the person in front of you.
Everyone wants to be seen, valued, and treasured. This is exactly what Christ has done for you. He saw you in your mess and loved you anyway. As the offended, He took your place for your sin, willingly offering Himself as a sacrifice (1 Peter 2:24).
To love others as Christ does, we need to see people as God sees them. They are not tasks. They are not projects. Each person is unique, loved deeply by God, and worthy of our care. Loving intentionally means recognizing their value and treating them accordingly.
Start Today!
No matter the season of life, the call to abide and bear fruit remains the same. If you’re ready to cultivate intentional relationships, start by spending time with the Lord and asking Him to help you see the people in front of you as He does.
Reflect and Connect
1. What does it look like for you to abide in Christ?
2. How does abiding in Him affect the way you love others?
3. What does it mean for you to truly see the person in front of you?
Sherry Stephens
thank you samantha! Your blog was insightful. Dont know that i can answer all your questions. But i know that abiding in Christ and being intentional sometimes is just realizing i am not the only person. You know i dont see lots of people on a daily basis except on the road. So when i get frustrated with drivers-God is reminding me that i dont know their situation and to take a moment to pray for them. No i am not always obedient but i always hear Him say think!
Sam i love you! You make me think.
Samantha Bowden
I love this! So many simple, but powerful ways that the Lord speaks and teaches us!
Taren
Abiding in Christ looks a little different depending on the day but as a whole it looks like me spending time with Him through prayer, scripture and the hardest for me, silence. This could be prayer in the car, prayer after my kids have been screaming and I’m at the end of my rope, or those rare moments where I can sit and just read and pray and read some more!! When we abide in Christ we are learning more about who He is, and more in tune with the Spirit which helps us to live lives that reflect Him which helps us love people well. (If that makes sense…) Right now the people in front of me are my family and my friends on social media. Checking in on people, praying, sending verses that the Spirit lays on my heart are all things I can do right now. Being aware of those who are hurting by what they post (if we aren’t as close) or texting my close friends and family to see what they might need and then helping in the ways I can! Abiding in Him helps me not feel overwhelmed by all the needs but helps me better recognize where I can help and be a light 💡
Thanks for this post and helping me process how to be intentional during this time ❤️
Samantha Bowden
I love your inclusion of “silence.” That is a tough one for me as well! I am encouraged by you and your thoughts!