LESSONS DISCOVERED THROUGH MARRIAGE

In only five years of marriage, I have had some incredible highs and lows as I have learned what it means to live for Jesus while being married. I can only imagine what growth awaits me for the next 70 plus years!

Whether you are married, engaged, or hope to be married one day, these three lessons can help shape the way you view the gift of marriage.

Journey with me as we explore three lessons discovered through marriage!

Marriage Lesson #1: Sanctification

Sanctification means to be set aside as holy. As followers of Jesus, God made our position to Him as righteous because of the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ. Though my position to God never changes because Jesus has covered all my sins, I still battle with my flesh on this earth. I can often hide my sins from others, but at home, my husband sees all of me. He sees the good and the bad. When you live with someone, they have the “privilege” of seeing the ugliness that hides inside.

Here’s what I mean: I would try to encourage my husband in various aspects throughout our marriage, usually spiritually or physically. What I considered gentle proddings to push him towards what I viewed as good turned out to be very hurtful. He would tell me from time to time he felt I was judging him. I thought I was helpful, but instead, I was demeaning my husband and trying to take control away from God.

Around year four in our marriage, I had a “come to Jesus” moment when I realized that I was very critical and judgmental towards other Christians. I could hide that side of me from them, but I couldn’t hide it from him. Unfortunately, he would often get the brunt of my sin because my judgment and criticism were directed toward him. I suddenly understood what he meant when he said he felt like I was judging him. I was, and it was not my place. God made my husband unique and special, and it is God’s place to mold his talents and weaknesses the way He plans to. God is sanctifying me through my marriage by revealing parts of me that are not pleasant and having me surrender them daily to Him.

Marriage Lesson #2: Prayer

Prayer seems to go hand and hand with my previous lesson. Going to the Lord first with my intentions and thoughts helps me align my will with God’s. There are many times throughout my marriage that God has taught me to go to Him before speaking to my husband. The tongue is hard to tame (James 3:8). At times, through prayer and the work of the Holy Spirit, God prompted me to speak with my husband about certain issues. However, more often then not, God revealed to me during my time in prayer that I was often seeking control and allowing my pride to rule my thoughts and tongue. By going first to God with my “problems,” I found perspective and humility and was able to be much kinder of a wife to Paul.

This is not to say you shouldn’t discuss difficult subjects and hurts in your marriage. My husband and I have had our fair share of good but hard conversations. I am, however, claiming that seeking wisdom from God before those conversations will help you align your heart with His, and sometimes that will mean you silence your tongue, and other times it will mean you speak in love concerns to your partner.

Marriage Lesson #3: The Power of the Spirit

Jesus displayed the ultimate love for us through His commitment to die for the sins of the world. His love for us is not based on our level of commitment but His. Marriage is a gift from God, a way to display His love for us. Unfortunately, as I confessed earlier, loving selflessly is very difficult for me. Thankfully, God doesn’t leave us without help. He has placed the Holy Spirit in each of His followers. The Spirit is our helper in all areas of our life, including our relationship with our spouse. I am often prompted to pray 1 Corinthians 13:4-7:

“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.”

When I am upset with my husband, my pride begins making lists of his wrongdoings and how I would never “do that” to him. Every time this happens, God leads me back to the scriptures because he wants me to crucify my prideful sin. When I read the scripture, I remember that I am boasting in myself and resentful, which is the opposite of what God has called me to be. It is through God’s Word that the Spirit reveals my sin and begins chiseling away the selfishness.

Thankful for the Lessons 

I am forever thankful for my husband. He is an incredibly hard-working man and an AMAZING father. God has been so kind as to bring us together and bless us with the gift of marriage. It is through this gift that I am drawn closer to Jesus.

Reflect and Connect

Which lesson above resonate the most with you?
How could these lessons be applied to your marriage or other relationships?
What additional lesson(s) have you learned through marriage?