THY WILL BE DONE PART 1 (MY STORY)

Not praying hurt more than praying and being told “no.”

For some time, I had been distancing myself from God. I had come to the faulty conclusion that if I didn’t ask for anything in my prayers, I wouldn’t be hurt when God didn’t answer the way I thought He should. Ironically, my method to protect myself from being disappointed by an unanswered prayer became much more painful than if I had been going to Him.

God will meet you in your hurt.

During this troublesome time, when I was distancing myself from God, He spoke truth into my life through a vision.

In my mind, I saw a steep hill. Kind of like an exaggerated slope you would find in a Dr. Seuss book. At the bottom of the hill, I stood, very small with a little red wagon. In the wagon was a large bag. It was heavy, and I knew the bag was full of my disappointments, frustrations, and, ultimately, sin. At the top of the hill, I could barely make out the cross, but I knew it was there that I would find my rest and freedom. I needed to get there.

As I began to make the trek with my wagon, I became tired. I would continuously slip down the steep slope, ready to give in and sit in self-pity with my cart full of sin. It hurt at the bottom of the hill, but it was easier to stay there than climb it. As I gave the trek one last shot, slipping and falling, Jesus met me. He put me in the wagon and pulled the heavy load to the top of the peak of the hill. I could never have made it if it wasn’t for him. I was finally there, at the foot of the cross.

As I envisioned all of this, I didn’t know how to respond to the grace Jesus showed me when He pulled me up the hill. I knew the right answer was worship, but I didn’t know what that would be like at this time. Amongst my uncertainty, God reminded me of this scripture to me:

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Matthew 11:38-29

Learn from Jesus; Pray like Jesus.

I was craving rest from my anxiety, and I knew Jesus was the one who offered the only real rest that would ever satisfy my soul. As I read the scripture repeatedly, I was especially attracted to the phrase: “and learn from me.” Jesus is the best teacher, and I needed to learn from him within my heartache and disappointment. How did he approach prayer in tough times? What did it look like for him to submit to the Father? How did he still have faith even when the answer was “no?” Asking those questions led me to a scripture in Hebrews 5.

“During the days of Jesus’ life on earth, he offered up prayers and petitions with fervent cries and tears to the one who could save him from death, and he was heard because of his reverent submission. Son though he was, he learned obedience from what he suffered and, once made perfect, he became the source of eternal salvation for all who obey him and was designated by God to be high priest in the order of Melchizedek.”

Hebrews 5:7–11

Jesus learned obedience through suffering. In the garden of Geshamane, Jesus, knowing the excruciating pain of death he would endure for the sake of sinners, cried out to God, “My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.“ (Matthew 26:39) He knew suffering was coming, and his flesh cried out for God to take it away, knowing God could. However, his obedience said, “thy will be done.” Wow. In these few verses, I was learning so much from Jesus. God didn’t refuse to answer Jesus’ prayer because of his lack of faith. In fact, in Hebrews 5, it says Jesus was a Son, and God heard his prayers because of his reverent submission. God has a grand plan in mind, and you, in our limited perspective, cannot see the full picture. However, it is your role to pray in faith and submission, regardless of the suffering.

If you are learning to pray in faith and submission too, join me in saying this prayer:

Oh, Jesus, help me to live these truths out. Help me not merely to say these as facts, but offer up my obedience as worship. Lord, align my will with yours and forgive me when it does not. Ultimately, not my will be done, but yours.

Reflect and Connect

When have you found it hard to pray? How have you overcome these times?
What role does faith have in prayer? 
Why should we pray for God’s will? What is the connection between praying in faith and for God’s will to be done?